Thursday, June 11, 2009


Thursday, June 11, 2009 1
A beautiful friend of mine found out that her husband was having an affair. With a sexy Indonesian lady named Dian Septiana Nughoro. It was a Senada Seirama Serumpun affair between Shah Alam and Jakarta. She was sad, devastated, crushed, depressed, broken-hearted.

Three is a crowd. Bila hilang kejujuran, maka hilang kepercayaan. Marriage is based on love, loyalty and trust. She has lost his loyalty. He has lost her trust. But they still have LOVE. And love is the most powerful force in any relationship. My friend still loves her husband. They have two lovely kids together. They have memories and hopes together. So this article by Carrie Joseph is dedicated to her husband. Please, win her heart back. Because I know, she still loves you.

How hard is it to get your ex back once you've cheated on them? You may feel that an affair automatically means an end to your relationship. But it doesn't have to be that way. When both people really want to work things out it's possible to save the relationship. So how to restore trust in marriage?

You will need to find ways to build trust between you and your wife. Usually this means adjusting your attitude as well as your actions. When you had an affair, you adopted an attitude that led to you cheating on your wife. You need to figure out why you had that attitude. There may be something diseased at the heart of your relationship. You want to find out what it is so you can heal it.

Think about what you were seeking when you had the affair.
What went wrong?
What was not enough?
Did she not have enough time for you?
Was your intimacy not enough? Was she nagging you all the time?
Do you feel like you couldn't get close to your spouse?
Was she controlling you?

If things were perfect in your relationship, you would not have cheated. You need to find out what you can do to fix it. Certainly, you will need to look deep inside your self for what is wrong, but you can't overlook the need for both parties to analyze the relationship. Before trust can be fully restored you will have to work on fixing the problems. You may need to seek counseling together to get to the heart of things.

In order to restore the trust in your relationship, you must act upon what you talk about. Deciding what needs to be done is useless if you don't act upon it. Start with the little, everyday things. Let your wife know that they can count on you to take the trash out, for instance and do it every evening. When you follow through and be consistent doing the small things you promise to do you are also showing your wife that they can have confidence in you. A gradual sense of trust is being built in your relationship.

You will also need to provide constant reassurance to your wife that you have changed. Be mentally prepared that she will bring up the betrayal when it comes to mind and you will need to learn to be patient and ready to apologize. You can't have the mindset that once you've apologized that you will never need to do so again. You deeply hurt your wife and it will take time and love to heal.

One of the ways to rebuild is to use the incident as an opportunity for you both to learn and grown from. In the same way that a bone gets stronger at the point it was broken, your relationship can strengthen and get better after the shock of an affair that almost breaks you. You can get your ex back after an affair, but restoring trust will take time and effort. You will have to adjust your attitude and your actions, but you can heal the wounds and become even stronger as a couple.